Feminism has bought many gains to society - equality in the workplace, voting rights, opportunity. I don't think anyone in their right mind could argue that the world would be a better place if we women were all relegated to domestic drudgery.

Unfortunately, somewhere feminism went from the advancement of equality of opportunity between the sexes to the notion that the sexes somehow had to be the same.

Men are now seen as brutes if they don't emote or admit that they have the same nurturing abilities as women. Women are seen as betraying the "sisterhood" if we don't want to be part of a military draft or openly say that our maternal feelings are simply a result of conditioning by a repressive patriarchy.

If we disagree with the blurring of gender lines - if we say that perhaps nature was correct in designing us differently and that part of that design was the utilization of our own special gender specific talents --well, if we do that then we are yelled at, shouted down and basically bullied back into the shadows by a very noisy minority.

And the worst sin a woman can commit in the eyes of many feminists? That sin is saying, "I have submissive tendencies and I would be happiest living under the authority of my male partner."
Make the choice to break through the ranks of the Citadel and you are applauded. Make the choice to sail solo across the Atlantic and you are heralded. But make the CHOICE to submit and the Feminist Thought Squad will ban you from their ranks and forever strip you of your PMS rights.
So what went wrong? When did feminism go advocating choice to being a doctrine that is supposed to be followed lockstep by a group of mindless followers?

I can't say. At 34 I wasn't aware of the rise of feminism. However, I see its implications daily revealed in the voices of women who whisper quietly their desire to submit.

It is their desire, but alas it is reduced too often to quiet longing by a political correctness that says, "Don't be what you want. Be what we say you should be."

When I entered my relationship with my husband he made it abundantly clear that he would be the authority in his household. I went into the relationship with eyes wide open and yet when he exercised that authority I felt a mixture of happiness and contentment mixed with god-awful guilt. The happiness and contentment came from my knowing that this was what I had always longed for; the guilt was from years of societal conditioning that told me I was to take orders from no man.

As a result, our relationship went through waves of acceptance and resistance as I fought my husband tooth and nail against the very life I secretly wanted.

Ironic, isn't it?

I remember one day thinking to myself, "I am not supposed to allow a man to tell me what to do and how I will act". And then it dawned on me - I was just as guilty of letting the feminists dictate my actions as I was my own husband.

For years I had let feminist dogma and doctrine determine my attitudes towards men and my own submissive tendencies. I had squelched a part of my personality - a part of who I am - and for what? To appease a bunch of women who wouldn't support my willing submission as a valid choice because it wasn't one that they would make.

When I let go and realized that life is about choice and that I would never be happy until I was brave enough to stand for what I wanted, things changed for the better.

My willing submission to my husband's authority has made a world of difference in my life. Personally I am happier and the boundaries he provides bring me a sense of security and comfort. As a result I have accomplished more professionally in the last four years than I did in the thirty before them.
It scares me to think what would have happened if I had let feminist dogma define me. I'm almost certain it would have meant the end of my relationship with "L". He is not the kind of man to repeatedly punish for misbehavior; in our house discipline must bring order and if power struggles overshadow harmony at some point the relationship will end. We have both agreed to that. Punishment, as we define it, is not intended to beat me down but to guide and correct.

If the marriage had ended, I would no doubt have gone through a string of men who would have struggled to say all the right things today's properly indoctrinated women want to hear, "I don't see anything wrong with a woman being in charge", "Yes, Dear" "Whatever you say dear".
No doubt I would have wandered through this parade of emasculated partners wondering why I couldn't be happy and why I could not respect them when they were everything society said I was supposed to want.

My husband is a naturally dominant man. It is the core of who he is makes him - dare I say - delightfully "male". I submit to him though choice. I feel that this is the core of who I am and that it makes me - dare I say - delightfully "female"

And do you know what? I still consider myself a feminist. I'm just a feminist who is living the life she chooses.

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